Anxiety Attacks

Thoughts

I think I need to see my therapist again. I just feel so unhappy all the time. Good things happen like getting to do my masters and leaving my shit job for a job that seems like it will be better but they don’t really make any difference long term. I just go back to feeling bad or my mind just jumps to the next thing to worry about. Like today I handed in my notice to work which is something I’ve fantasised about doing for MONTHS, and I didn’t feel relieved or happy, my mind just immediately jumped to oh god I’ve got to organise a leaving do and oh god when to do it because my manager is leaving at the same time and I don’t know when she’s doing hers. And instead of feeling excited about my new job I just feel worried because I haven’t told them I’m starting my masters in September and I feel like they’ve employed me under false pretences and I keep worrying about it. I’m terrified of being told off by people and I’m worrying about being told off by someone I don’t even work for yet months from now. AND I’m worried because I got new contact lenses and I tested them for 2 weeks and it was fine but now they’re not and I’ve had so many issues with them in the past I’m worried they’ll think I’m lying/attention – seeking…again worried I’ll be shouted at.

😦

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